Fake It 'Til You Make It

This is EXACTLY what I've been doing. If you talk to me, you'd never know that I am in the absolute worst shape (financially, emotionally & professionally) that I've ever been in. I actually lost my job once before - and I simply got ANOTHER job. But this time, it's different. No one is hiring. NO ONE. Not only that, I'm not the only one who is unemployed. So I'm confident that if an opportunity did surface, I wouldn't be the first one that they would call. There's a shitload of unemployed, medium & small market talent out here who would gladly take an airshift at minimum wage. As ridiculous as it sounds, no one wants an experienced, polished, passionate talent such as myself anymore. It even seems impossible to get a 'regular' 9 to 5 out here. Once potential employers find out that my salary history includes $150K at my last position, they gently place my resume at the bottom of the stack. WTF?

But I've been faking until I can make it. I smile through the pain. In fact, my persona may even be a little sillier than normal as I attempt to hide how broken I really am. But faking it isn't getting me anywhere. So I humbled myself last week, put on a black hoodie and dark sunglasses so no one would recognize me, and went down to the local food stamp office to try to get assistance. They rejected me. I literally cried. My part time hustles which equate 20K per year put me in the 'you make too much money' category. I explained to the clerk that my mortgage is $1,700 per month...but she said that it didn't matter. She told me to move somewhere cheaper.

Then I went to see if I could get some free health insurance. Again, I get rejected because of my high paying part time hustle compensation of 20K per year. I guess if I get run over by a truck, I should be able to pay out of pocket for my medical care.

I'm feeling like I'm 5 minutes away from crazy.