I Can See The Future

Pardon me while I have my MISS CLEO moment...

(spoken in a fake Jamaican accent)

DL Hughley will be the next undeserving comedian to get his own syndicated morning show. Actually, DL was in talks with ABC Networks a few months back but apparently, CNN wasn't feeling the idea of him having a radio AND tv show at the same time. So now that CNN has canned the TV show, (thank the Lord) I'm sure the talks of having his own radio gig has resurfaced. A friend of mine called me from NY this morning to inform me that DL Hughley will be guest starring on the KISS WAKE UP club all week. This my friends, is what we call THE SET UP.

Wow. I'm thinking about becoming a comedian so that I can get a radio job. Bumbaclot.

Fake It 'Til You Make It

This is EXACTLY what I've been doing. If you talk to me, you'd never know that I am in the absolute worst shape (financially, emotionally & professionally) that I've ever been in. I actually lost my job once before - and I simply got ANOTHER job. But this time, it's different. No one is hiring. NO ONE. Not only that, I'm not the only one who is unemployed. So I'm confident that if an opportunity did surface, I wouldn't be the first one that they would call. There's a shitload of unemployed, medium & small market talent out here who would gladly take an airshift at minimum wage. As ridiculous as it sounds, no one wants an experienced, polished, passionate talent such as myself anymore. It even seems impossible to get a 'regular' 9 to 5 out here. Once potential employers find out that my salary history includes $150K at my last position, they gently place my resume at the bottom of the stack. WTF?

But I've been faking until I can make it. I smile through the pain. In fact, my persona may even be a little sillier than normal as I attempt to hide how broken I really am. But faking it isn't getting me anywhere. So I humbled myself last week, put on a black hoodie and dark sunglasses so no one would recognize me, and went down to the local food stamp office to try to get assistance. They rejected me. I literally cried. My part time hustles which equate 20K per year put me in the 'you make too much money' category. I explained to the clerk that my mortgage is $1,700 per month...but she said that it didn't matter. She told me to move somewhere cheaper.

Then I went to see if I could get some free health insurance. Again, I get rejected because of my high paying part time hustle compensation of 20K per year. I guess if I get run over by a truck, I should be able to pay out of pocket for my medical care.

I'm feeling like I'm 5 minutes away from crazy.

The Art of Being Difficult

...“I heard that she's difficult to deal with”.

I refuse to let those be the words to define me or my radio career. However, those were the words radio executive Steve Hegwood uttered to a friend of mine recently. I was stunned because I am one of the most non-controversial people you’ll ever meet. My friend continued to tell me all of the details of his conversation with Steve, but I blacked out and began to ask myself, “What kind of school girl gossip is going on here?”

In just 13 short years (from 1995-2008) I’ve had one of best radio careers in the game. My peers, both male and female, were amazed at how I was able to maneuver through the top markets in the industry. In between, there were many ups and downs, but nothing major. I’ve always carried myself like a professional. I NEVER slept with anyone to get a job and I never compromised my integrity. My talent and determination are completely responsible for my radio success.

So why is Steve Hegwood dirtying up my name and possibly preventing me from getting future employment? I’ve always looked up him...and always attempted to keep in contact with him no matter where I was located. What would make him utter the words, “I heard that she is difficult.”? Who told him this?

I’ve never had any shouting matches with my employers and I’ve never been insubordinate. However, I will admit that most of my bosses in the radio have been men and they were more driven by their egos than they were by the BUSINESS of radio. Is it possible that I hurt someone’s feelings because I would ask for our verbal agreements to be put in writing? Isn’t that the professional way to handle business and prevent confusion? Perhaps being the consummate professional is coming back to haunt me because obviously I’ve bruised someone’s ego along the way.

This Is My Prayer

Dear God,

Please make it possible for me to cross paths (at least ONCE) with Robin Bertolucci or Corny Koehl. I am confident that they would be able to see past a 2:30 minute aircheck and would give me an opportunity to do great radio once again. Just when I thought that there were no intelligent, progressive thinking radio professionals left, I read the following quotes from the R&R Talk Radio Seminar:

“PDs are chicken shits about trying new things. Not always, but generally.”

-Robin Bertolucci

"Radio management generally has no vision, which puts programmers in a bad position because they are not given the time to develop a show and the talent. Programmers ought to have a minimum of three years to develop top flight talent. I've worked with both Suzy Orman and the Satellite Sisters, and neither were given enough time to develop their radio programs. Orman went on to become a huge hit on cable news television and a bestselling author and is now fielding offers to do more radio. Terrestrial radio is toxic."

-Corny Koehl
Executive Producer for Harpo Productions Oprah Radio

"What we are doing on weekends, that’s toxic. It’s fundamentally destructive. If we can get management to not make us focus on crunching numbers or why there are so many part-time board ops working on Tuesdays. We’ve just got to get on good programming and people will listen, it’s as simple as that.”
-Robin Bertolucci

“The most wasted thing on this planet is talent,” Salley observed in his criticism of programmers and management who rush to pigeonhole a performer. Do what Paul Harvey said: ’Close your eyes and listen. Managers need to look beyond the obvious and find a performer’s hidden talent and exploit it."

-John Salley

So in closing Lord, I really need a job and I'm confident that Robin or Corny would hire me. Can you make that happen? Please?

Amen.

What Goes Around Comes Right Back Around Again - Please Believe It...

I started reading at age 3. My mom took me to audition for Sesame Street at age 4. I was enrolled in the Astor Program for gifted children from kindergarten to 7th grade.  I attended a nationally acclaimed High School for talented children. I graduated from college and was fortunate enough to find a career that I absolutely l.o.v.e.d.

Combine all of the above with an unexplainable amount of will, passion & determination and you end up with me. In 1995, I received my first job as an radio announcer at a small radio station in the South. I made $6.00 per hour. After receiving my first paycheck for $57.12, I wrote on the back of that paycheck:

"This is ONLY the beginning.  New York City, here I come!"  

Little did I know, my vision would come to fruition and it wouldn't take long. Not only was I able to work in New York, I ended up becoming a morning show personality in New York- which was something that thousands of people only dreamed of doing. My talent took me all over the country and I was living on top of the world. I remained humble; realizing that to whom much is given, much is required. What started out as a $6 per hour job, became a $150,000 per year blessing. I never felt like I was waking up in the morning because I had to "go to work". Work isn't supposed to be fun...and I was having a pure blast for 4 hours a day, 5 days a week. 

Fast forward to last Monday. I recently learned about a general manager availability at a college radio station in the south. I won't post my ENTIRE radio resume - but in addition to the above, I am clearly OVER QUALIFIED for the position.  Long story short, I found out that the person who would be influencing the new general manager hire, graduated from my alma mater. In addition to that, a colleague of mine knew her personally and recommended me. I thought that the job was MINE. Also keep in mind that the job has been available for at least 3 months. Wrong. After she ignored my initial inquiry, she called me and was extremely nasty. "College radio is different from commerical radio." "I'm not going to want to train someone...the person that we hire needs to hit the ground running." "Well...just keep an eye out for the job posting on the university's website. You can apply. After all, I'm not the one who will make the decision."

Words can't describe how upset I was. Her tone was SO nasty - you would have thought that I called her mama a frog faced bitch or something. The sad part is, I also have an extensive marketing & fundraising background which this station could have certainly benefitted from. God made it clear to me that if I WERE hired, her poor bitter soul wouldn't have been able to sit in the same room as me for more than 30 seconds. Evidently, she has some deep rooted issues that require counseling and perhaps medication. 

I hope and pray that our paths NEVER cross. I wouldn't give her a square of toilet paper if she needed it. Karma is a bitch and don't ever forget it. 

The Joke Of The Day

This is an actual job listing posted over on AllAccess.Com.

Seeking An Incredible Music Assistant

A new socially conscious, positive urban music station is seeking a music assistant. If you know urban contemporary, soul, neo soul and positive hiphop. If you have a sophisticated, progressive approach to music but a sensibility for the best tracks to appeal to the 

audience, then email me with some info about yourself, and your vision of progressive urban adult radio. The position is unpaid at present (unfortunately) but if you've always wanted to bring new ideas to a broader audience, let us know.

Lord....give me strength.

Dark Clouds Rising...

I just finished having another one of my emotional breakdowns. I try to convince myself that nothing can effect me the way things once did and then I begin to cry until I develop a damn headache.

Truth be told, I am ANGRY with the radio industry. It's dying and no one seems to care. But even with the steam that is coming out of my nostrils - I would STILL take a radio job if the opportunity presented itself. It's almost like being in a long time abusive relationship with someone. Rihanna is not going to leave Chris until SHE'S good and ready. I'm the same way. Radio has slapped me around a few times - blackened my eyes and has even made my nose bleed a few times - but I can't leave completely until I'M ready.

I really look forward to sharing my past experiences via this blog sometime in the near future..but as for right now, I can't keep my most immediate thoughts to myself.

First of all, I was listening to a local radio show this morning when one of the co-hosts deemed it necessary to make an "important announcement". I thought that she would be giving away some tickets to an exclusive event or would announce a major concert. Instead, she took that opportunity to confirm what her listening audience may have read in the local paper this morning. She said something like,

"Yes...It's true. Jeff Fox got caught up in the economy and is no longer with our station. His memory will live on. But stay tuned for the REMIXED Wake Up Club with myself, Talent & Bob Slade. That's right. We won't be going anywhere because we come cheap."

I swear to God. I looked for the rewind button on my radio and then suddenly remembered that my radio wasn't a DVR. Are you f*ckin' kidding me? His memory will live on? Did he die or did he get fired? We come cheap? I KNOW you didn't just say that. Furthermore, are you aware that you have opened the flood gates for listeners to start calling the front desk to confirm what you just said? Oh wait....you probably don't care because your purpose was probably just to inform your audience that this is YOUR shit now.

If your a REAL radio vet, you TRULY know how freakin' RETARDED this girl is without me having to throughly explain. What a sad, sad day in radio this is. I am working on getting the audio because her comments were just so outrageous to me until I HAVE to let you listen for yourself.

My head is spinning. I will stop now...when I return, I must share what happened to me today as I applied for a General Manager position at a public radio station. I don't think I've ever felt as disrespected as I have today. If I were within 50 yards of that bitch that I talked to today, I would have punched her dead in the throat.

?1995-2009? R.I.P.

My feet became my carriage.

My hands became my guide.
My eyes became my vision.
My voice became my cry.

And though no one could see me
They listened as if they could.
And all the time I cherished
The moments where we stood.
In times of sometimes danger
In times of sometimes war.
I soothed their worn-out spirits.
I soothed them from afar.

It wasn’t such a challenge
That I could not control.
The early morning wake-ups,
The passion in my soul.

I gave it all my best shot
I gave it what I could.
And now I’ve done my duty.
For you, my neighborhood.

Life, now beholds a treasure
Of what we all have shared.
It’s not how long I’ve known you.
It’s just because I cared.
-Anonymous

Urban radio has been really, really sick for over a decade. (maybe longer) I have recently come to the realization that the illness was terminal and there's no cure. I did all that I could do to heal him....but nothing worked. Additionally, there were many, MANY people who purposely attempted to prevent me from nursing him back to health. My efforts have made me tired and weary and I think I'm ready to give up on him altogether.

This blog is dedicated to my 10 + year radio career. I have enough stories to make your head spin and I'm going to literally explode if I don't get it out. I'm sure that this blog is going to make a few folk angry - - because the truth hurts - but I hope that it will also inspire someone, somewhere, somehow. After all, that's all I set out to do when I got into radio in the first place. Thanks in advance for taking the ride with me.